The Ugly Truth

Friday, October 21, 2016

Reminder: Take your own responsibility to view the photos following this post as they may cause you feel disgusting or uncomfortable.


Photo taken during Chinese New Year 2016 in a cafe. I insisted not to put down my face mask despite how many times she begged me just for a selfie.



Revealing the ugly side of one doesn't sound right at all. But I'm here to do that on myself. I urge you not to just scroll through just to view the photos but also to understand it through my words.


This photo can at least give you an idea of what is about the following. And for your information, left hand side of the photo occurred on me earlier this year and the right hand side is my current condition.

The story goes like this...
My skin (referring to my face throughout this post) started to be more hypoallergenic as coming to the end of last year. I couldn't help much on myself mainly because I was still staying at my hostel, preparing to sit for final exam. In other words, in the few weeks of intensive revision period, I suppose that the stress occurred along with hormonal changes also contributed to worsen the condition, too.  

I had some prescribed topical cream from the well-known pharmacist in Bukit Mertajam, Penang once I got back to hometown. It worked on my face after a week of application as my mum also noticed about it. So, I was expecting that at least it could be heal or at least, stabilized because my family and I will be having Chinese New Year vacation in Bangkok.

And you know sometimes our wishes don't come true...

Dying hair for my mum and sister is my responsibility and I did that to them at that time, yes, when I was in the process of getting my skin heal...and so 

OMFG 

Something even serious (or shall I say 'chronic'?) SURPRISED ME IN SUCH A GREAT WAY.
Few days after dying hair for them, there were more and more unfamiliar things popped out, gradually more, bigger and even more horrible! I knew that some ultimate disaster is approaching to me as I got to see more undesirable stuff kept appearing on my face. 

My life at that time had since became dull...

It sounds reasonable to avoid from facing public, but I even quarantined myself in room just to avoid from my family members as well! I didn't want to let them see my horrible faces seriously. I didn't know that they already actually noticed about my face but I guess this is how Asian families usually behave, they don't interact with each other until it had to on one day.

Shedding tears were then my routine...

I was having semester break that time, so my daily routine at home was eat, tvb drama, sleep and repeat. One more new thing was uncontrollably crying secretly from time to time. Despite that, I still kept myself to be a little positive one. I also spent a lot of my time searched online about this, the symptoms, treatment and even get to know some bloggers who were once suffered like this before. A significant one is Juli, a Singaporean blogger who owns Bun Bun Makeup Tips  I read her sharing about once her sufferings, hence, I got to be a little (just a little) positive that my problem would be fixed soon as well.

There goes the drama...

I remember it was Friday evening where crying and perfect storms began once again. I was a total mad one at that time! It was even more dramatic than you could imagine. No matter how many times my mum asked me to get out from room and let her see my condition, I replied her with even harder crying. Until I could feel the hidden sorrow on my mum's voice begging me, I only took my steps out of the room. I still remember that my sister kept passing me tissue paper so imagine there was a little mole of tissue papers beside me. With an unusual expression, my mum approached me, she observed how serious it really was. And not to miss some nagging and I was so much courageous just to speak out whatever I felt bad on their words to me before. You just don't care much when you are in a big big trouble. The next morning at 8.30, my mum sent me to a dermatologist and I was given some prescriptions of the treatment. 

I never expected to face an even greater disaster on me...

Bangkok vacation still carried on despite my skin condition, I already prepared to wear face mask throughout my times at the outside. And even more dramatic things happened on the departure day. Not only me but also my family members were shocked to see adverse effect occurred on to my face! I can't do anything beside putting face mask and stay at a tip of positivism, I knew crying is simply helpless. 

I didn't enjoy throughout the vacation...

I put on face mask yet I still find my way to avoid from the public's sight on the BTS, along the street, in shopping malls, hotel lobby etc... I remember about my dining experience along the street in Chinatown, Bangkok. face mask was still putting on till all dishes were served on table. I nodded all the time to eat and I settled it as soon as possible. I knew that were some puzzled looks thrown on me but I couldn't care much as I really did my best to avoid public's sight. So basically putting on face mask is my main thing to do at every corner I was in the city. I only put down the face mask when I backed to hotel and here's a little sorrow recall where I didn't wash my face with any cleanser because I don't wish to worsen it further. Imagine I was in the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror and brushing teeth and kept seeing my horrible face, I just used water to clean it and it was painful though.

Tears drop at the immigration counter...

To be honest, I didn't expect that it would happened in this way. I was asked to take off the face mask by the officer yet I did it half way where I lower it only reach to my chin. Then the officer asked to lower it down again, expecting me to take it off. I disobeyed till he said it one more time with a rather harsh way, I only managed to take it off from my face and the tears had started to race through in my eyes. I don't blame the officer as I know it is their responsibility to have thorough checking and he has the rights to give me such instructions as well.

Rushed to dermatologist on Day 3 of Chinese New Year...

I went to see Dr Ong Too as an emergency patient to be true. Thank God the clinic operated on third day of Chinese New Year. I knew that they charged rather higher compared to others yet when money and emergency comes to you, which would you choose? Alright, photos time, shall we? MAKE SURE YOU ARE 100% READY FOR IT.


[March 20, 2016] So this was the chronic situation I meant.
Big kind of pimples flourishing on my face with some little ones as well as redness occurred along.
It was from cheek to the mouth area.


[March 20, 2016] Same goes to the right side of my face


Undergoing treatment all these while...

Dr Ong prescribed me not only the mild cleanser and topical cream but also few oral medicine. I had no choice but to undergo all these treatments in order to have my skin get rid of this horrible stuff. Moreover, I had to keep follow up with the doctor for observation and essential treatment. More about this including the changes of my lifestyle will be revealed in my next post of this series, so stay tuned.



[April 5, 2016]  There were reduction of big pimples as you could see, left with small ones and scars and redness.

Shedding tears was my routine whenever I looked myself in the mirror to cleanse or to apply cream on my face. And the hurtful thing was, sometimes the pimples bleed on night time and I found it on my pillow the next morning. Cleansing my face was another challenge to go, to do the circular motions during cleansing, I did it in a ultra soft way and I touched and could feel how bad it was on every pimples through my fingers. In order to rinse the cleanser off my face, all I could do is 'wipe' it super super soft with my wet hands and sometimes it was hurt!


[April 5, 2016] But there were still some on the right side of my face.


At last, I took off my face mask...

I even put on face mask when I was in campus. Many of my coursemates never had to the chance to see how bad the situation was on to me that time. I even spared some in my bag just in case the one I was using has gone damaged because I really didn't wish to let them see at all. I knew that this scenario shouldn't be held on any longer, so I decided to free my face from face mask when I noticed the situation on my face has changed a lot, like the photos as below. 


[June 8, 2016] Left with scars and redness to be healed


[June 8, 2016] Updates on the left side of my face


End of the month of June was the time I went back to hometown when I had ended the semester with final exam. My skin was a lot better compared to the photo as above, I stopped visiting Dr Ong and I switched to O2 Klinik. I guess Penangites are quite familiar with this skin clinic as the treatment and service provided is pretty excellent plus, reasonable charging fee. (not an advert here anyway) 

The doctor was patient to listen to and understand my skin history and I was given some essential skin care to apply and follow up with the doctor every month. Since then, I cut off spicy food, dairy products and have plenty of water as well as sufficient hour of sleeping. 

Finally, I'm backed to my big wide smile and laughter...


[October 3, 2016] Cropped photo of me, neither filter nor edit was applied on this photo


Now, I'm backed to being myself with laughter and my smile from time to time.

Thanks to my family and friends who gave me a lot of courage during that struggling time of mine.
Until today, I take good care of my skin too and be even more cautious on the food intake and activities. I want that to be history forever and ever. If you or your friends are encountering similar problems, you are much welcomed to regard this post as an encouragement one by sharing it out. I also welcome for any personal chat regarding this via email (mableseah@hotmail.com) Don't hesitate to ask me anything regarding to this, I'm here to give you advice and some suggestions to overpass this problem.

Coming next this series: Changes in my lifestyle.


Thank you very much for spending time to read this post.



In the process of drafting and completing this post, I took break for a few times to calm myself down. However, I'm proud of myself to be able to publish this post successfully in the end. I know I'm always a tough one because what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Although it was a dull memories in my life, I still regard it to be part of it and I'm sincerely thankful over it because I've since became a better one. 

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